Kelly Clarkson says she “wouldn’t have made it” through her lengthy divorce without antidepressants.
The singer had a frank discussion about mental health while appearing on the “Las Culturistas” podcast Wednesday, opening up about what pushed her to finally take medication for her depression.
During her chat with hosts Bowen Yang and Matt Rogers, she recalled a pivotal moment she had with her therapist during her split from ex-husband Brandon Blackstock.
“I looked at my therapist, and I just couldn’t stop sobbing, and I was like, ‘I actually had to cancel some of the other day because I couldn’t stop crying. I cannot do this,’” recalled Clarkson, the host of a successful syndicated daytime show.
At that point, she knew it was time to move past any stigma she felt around taking medication.
“It was one of those things where I really had to put my pride aside and, like, all my childhood issues of whatever,” the “American Idol” winner recalled.
“I was on Lexapro for, like, I think, two months,” she explained.
Clarkson said starting the antidepressant was the “greatest decision ever,”
“My thing was, I just can’t smile anymore for America right now,” she said. “I’m not happy, and I need help … and it was honest to God, the greatest decision ever. I wouldn’t have made it [without it].”
The “Since U Been Gone” singer filed for divorce from Blackstock in July 2020, but the exes, who share children River Rose and Remington Alexander, became embroiled in a court battle over custody and assets. They didn’t finalize the process until March 2022.
Clarkson explained during a recent interview on Glennon Doyle’s “We Can Do Hard Things” podcast why she stayed in the relationship for longer than she wanted to.
“When you’re in it … I’m like, ‘I can do this. I can handle so much. I can control my actions. I can control my reactions. I can do this and I can reach this person and I can get through,’” she said on the podcast released earlier this month. “And it becomes a little bit of your ego that gets in the way.”
She shared a similar sentiment on Apple Music’s “The Zane Lowe Show” in early June, telling the DJ, “I desperately want to make this happen. But I think I knew in my heart it just wasn’t going to.”
Clarkson is currently promoting her 10th studio album, “Chemistry.” It is her first full-length record since 2017, and draws from her divorce experience.
The star explained why she wanted to channel her heartbreak into music when announcing her comeback with Variety last year.
“The one reason that ended up making me go, ‘I should put this out’ is that most of the songs in my career that people will generally come up to me [about] are the ones that are stories inspired by my life that maybe they go through as well,” Clarkson said.
“This record, I think I wrote this for a reason — not just for me, but maybe someone else can benefit from it,” she continued.