Kids’ getting sick: it’s a universal truth of parenting. You never know exactly when it’s going to happen, but you know with total certainty that it will. Day of a big work presentation? On the way to the airport for an international flight? A fever or a stomach bug can intrude on your lives at any moment, crushing your plans, sending you scrambling for back-up childcare — and, of course, making every member of the family sick, one by one like a row of dominos falling.
If you’re in the midst of what feels like an interminable game of virus tag, know that yours is not the only family stuck there. These parents have lived to tell the tale on social media.
Gotta love when your kids give you their germs and suddenly you are way way way more sick than they are
— Conz Preti (@conz) September 29, 2022
The latest thing ripping its way through the kids’ school is some stomach bug which I can only describe as “massive barfing syndrome”. What a year!
— Joshua Hind (@joshuahind) February 21, 2023
There’s nothing like cleaning up after your kid that has a stomach bug at 3am.
I’d like to thank the other kids at school that spread it to mine.— CinnamonToastKen (@cinnamontoastk) February 17, 2023
doesn’t get sick for three years. has a kid. once that kid is in preschool he’s sick every week with a cold.
gets a cold every week bc the kid
moral of the story kids are just basically germs— ᔕᴀᴍᴀɴᴛʜᴀ ᗰᴀʀɪᴊᴜᴀɴᴀ (@Sammi_Sativa) March 28, 2022
We had 4 whole days of childcare before the kids brought home some stomach bug and we’ve taken turns being sick all night.
So everyone is home, meetings are canceled, and work is postponed…again. Sorry if you were expecting anything from me any time this decade 😬
— Leah Mayo (@MayoOnTheBrain) January 25, 2022
This kid caught a stomach bug a few days ago. I was forming caring dad, lemme cuddle you. Now I’m sick AF! I’m a clown. Meanwhile, baba is now back to top form.
Next time he catches a communicable virus, my response will be “Depart from me, for ye are unclean”
— K (@Damocleansword) January 18, 2020
I caught a daycare bug from kids and have lost my voice. All morning I have had to whisper to my 2 year old and he whispers back at me and laughs 😂
— Heather Targaryen 🏳️⚧️🏳️🌈 (@MaesterMerry) September 8, 2019
Using the epidemiology expertise I’ve gained in the last 10 months to do a bit of contact tracing on the stomach bug that is superspreading at my kids’ daycare.
— Matt Bevan (@MatthewBevan) November 21, 2020
Sorry I’ve been MIA. All the germs the kids brought home morphed into a super bug and attacked me.
— 3 Wild Rainbows (@wildrainbow2) December 7, 2022
Me: You’ve all been home since Nov 19 except a few days. We are not going ANYWHERE after Christmas, because I need you all to go back to school. No sniffles, no coughs, NOTHING.
Weather: SNOW
Schools: *close for two more days*
My kids: *stomach bug*
My deadline: 😵
— Brigid Kemmerer (maybe, maybe not) (@BrigidKemmerer) January 6, 2022
After 3 days of being home with kids with the stomach bug, can’t wait to take them to school tomorrow so I can have a relaxing day of 16 back to back zoom meetings and 47 emails.
— Eric Hoke (@erichoke) February 12, 2023
I have fallen victim to the stomach bug.
But my kids are still sleeping at night and not sick 😂😂😂
CANT HAVE IT ALL
— emily (@emilykmay) June 15, 2023
Everyone I know with kids in school warned me that when Andy started preschool we would begin catching every little bug going around, & yet somehow I thought I, God’s specialest little snowflake, would be Exempt. But won’t He do it!*
.
.
.
.
*humble me with the sorest of throats— Amy Colleen (@sewistwrites) October 5, 2023
Wondering every day if my kid brought home a new bug from school or not, it’s Schrödinger’s illness
— Tada (@krystaunclear) October 6, 2023
Before volunteering to look after a toddler whose parents are sick, consider where they got their illness from. Turns out kids are Trojan horses of germs. (This tweet is sponsored by norovorus).
— Fergus (@fergusboden) November 26, 2019
If you ever find yourself thinking “hmm idk maybe I should have kids” just know there IS a several month span EVERY year where everyone is sick & gross & it doesn’t matter how careful you are bc kids are gross petri dishes of germs & will wake you up to puke on your bed at 3 am
— Vegan Banana Lady (@vegannabananna) February 13, 2023
God: oh crap
Angel: what’s up boss
G: I programmed the kids wrong
A: how
G: I hit YES to ‘get all the germs all the time’ instead of NO
A: oh
G: I also hit YES to ‘cough in parents eyeballs or open mouth’
A:
G:
A & G: shit— MumInBits (@MumInBits) January 21, 2020
Me: it’s so weird how parents over-sanitize everything their kids touch. Germs are important!
Me [after the whole family is knocked out for all of our first vacation with norovirus vomiting]: I will Lysol the shit out of anything you look at until you are 18.
Happy vacay 🤢
— Kristen Anderson (@FintechKristen) April 28, 2022
Am I free to make plans? Yes. Will one of my family be ill on that day? Also yes.
— Laura prefers the bird (@ericamorecambe) October 6, 2023
If these kids are allowed to bring their germs to school how am I not allowed to bring my dog
— Ꮍᴀᴇʟ (@elle91) September 9, 2018
I taught 7th and 8th grade Social Studies for three years and I can safely say children don’t carry germs.
Germs carry children. Kids literally ride into your classroom every day on a chariot of disease. I was always so sick it was like I was a prisoner in a castle dungeon.
— Alexis Pereira (@MrAlexisPereira) August 3, 2020